Caregiver Support During Military Deployment

Communication is key. Talk with your provider and consider including additional information in the plan based on what your caregiver will need to know while you are away — especially if he or she does not have a military background and is unfamiliar with military life. Here are some tips to help you build your family care plan:

• Outline arrangements for daily activities. What does your routine look like? Make a schedule of the week’s events, including school day start and end times, any afterschool activities and child care details. Include upcoming school, social or family gatherings. You may even want to invite your caregiver to observe your family routine prior to your leaving.
• Give details for family rules and behavior. What rules does your family already follow? Let your caregiver know as much as possible about how your family life works, including parenting responsibilities and rules. Write down specific details for mealtimes, bedtimes, discipline, and duties or chores around the house children might have.
• Provide medical information. What medical considerations does your caregiver need to be prepared for? List details about family physicians, medications and vitamins, allergies, immunizations, hospitals and regular appointments.
• List close contacts and other resources. Who in your network will support your caregiver? Provide names, addresses and telephone numbers of relatives, neighbors and friends, doctors and dentists, military and community resources, and the military unit and family readiness program points of contact.
• List an alternative caregiver. Do you need to list the name and contact information of an alternate caregiver, if needed?
• Note locations of important documents. What documents will your caregiver need? These include wills, insurance papers, birth certificates and powers of attorney.
• Explain the importance of dependent ID cards. Check the expiration date on your family members’ ID cards and make sure they are registered in the Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System, or DEERS.
• Finances. How will you handle financial aspects? Explain any necessary information about financial matters that need to be handled while you’re away.

Your installation legal services office provides free assistance for a wide range of circumstances, including support with drafting these other important documents:

• Power of attorney: This legal document authorizes your caregiver to make parenting decisions on your behalf for a specified period, including decisions related to medical care. This document is required in your family care plan.
• Military ID cards: Make sure each family member aged 10 or older is registered in the Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System, or DEERS, and has a current ID card. Your caregivers don’t get their own ID cards while caring for your family.
• Agent letter of authorization: Caregivers can access on-installation facilities such as commissary and exchanges to support care of your family members, but they must have a letter of authorization signed by the commanding officer of the installation. You can request this letter through the ID card office at your installation. Explain to the caregiver how to use installation services.

Make sure your caregiver knows about these military resources that are available while you are gone:

• Military and Family Support Centers provide counseling and life-skills development and are found on most military installations. Visit MilitaryINSTALLATIONS to find the contact information for your local Military and Family Support Center.
• The Morale, Welfare and Recreation Program on your installation offers activities and includes child development programs and after-school care for children and teens.
• Military OneSource provides assistance 24/7 and will direct you to a number of other resources. Call 800-342-9647, use international calling options or log in to a secure live chat.

• Prearrange your child’s finances. Don’t forget to set aside some extra cash for unexpected items, such as new toys, prom pictures or other fun money. You can set up an allotment or direct deposit to the caregiver’s account with the pay clerk at your unit’s personnel office, or you can use the myPay online service.
• Explain how relationships change. Talk to the caregiver and your child about how their relationship will change. At first, it may be difficult for your child to see the caregiver as a confidant or authority figure, especially if they are not used to having them around.
• Keep your child at home. A military deployment may be easier for children if they can stay in their own home. A nonmilitary caregiver may move into your military housing to care for your child during deployment. Discuss this option early in the process to prepare your child and the caregiver for changes and adjustments.
• Track behavioral changes. Let the caregiver know that your child may have behavioral changes while you are gone and that those changes are normal. Younger children may become clingy and fearful. Older children may act out, have trouble paying attention or experience sleep problems. Make sure your child’s extended family, teachers, coaches and religious leaders know about your deployment so they can offer support.If these behaviors don’t go away over time, the caregiver may want to seek help. Free counseling is available for military children and youth. Children ages 6-12 are eligible for Military OneSource family sessions in person or video with a parent or guardian present. For youth ages 13-17, a parent or guardian must be present at the start of each session to give consent. The Military and Family Life Counseling Program can also provide support on or near the installation to children under 18 with written consent from a parent or guardian.
• Make notes about routines. Knowing what the normal routines are can help your caregiver get settled and prevent unnecessary conflict. Maintaining normal routines can help provide a sense of stability for children during transitions.
• Check in often. Establish a regular time for phone calls and internet chats with the caregiver and children. Let the caregiver know how they can reach you if your children need to talk. This is important for maintaining relationships during and after deployment.

If it’s necessary to move your children, the following tips can help make the transition easier.

• Make the new home child friendly. A safe place for children to play or a quiet study zone for older youth are just two ways to help your child adjust to a new home.
• Find out about school admission requirements. When children change schools during a parent’s military deployment, they might need their immunization records or might move up to the next grade in a certain class. Learn more about the available support for helping children change schools, from school liaisons and special education support to the Interstate Compact on Educational Opportunity for Military Children.
  • Watch this video to learn how school liaisons can help your child’s education transition.
  • Watch this video on the Military Interstate Children’s Compact Commission, or MIC3, to find out more about how MIC3 informs parents about legal protections for their children in the school system as they PCS to new installations and schools.
• Look for similar programs in the new location. If your child has special needs, make sure a move doesn’t disrupt services by accessing services such as an individualized education program or a Section 504 plan.
• Make sure your high school student doesn’t miss graduation. Your local installation school liaison can help with all of your education-related questions and issues, including making sure your teen stays on track for graduation. Work with your liaison to verify the out-of-state high school’s graduation requirements. Contact the new school’s administrative office before your senior enrolls to ensure your teen has taken all the required courses, or can be registered for the necessary classes, to graduate on time.
• Emphasize equal treatment. Caregivers may have their own children at home. If the caregiver’s children get sent to their rooms for disobeying, the caregiver might want to establish similar consequences for your child to be fair and avoid resentment. Discuss this with your child and the caregiver.
• If possible, introduce your child or teen to people in the new environment to make the transition easier. It’s always nice to know someone when you move. Ask your installation school liaison about the youth sponsorship program.
• Make sure the new home has a safe sleep environment for your baby. If you have an infant or newborn, use a crib, bassinet or other approved sleeping space that has a firm, flat surface. For cribs, make sure the mattress is firm and only use a fitted sheet. For more information, visit: Safe Sleep Environment for Baby.

• Choose an interim caregiver. Ask a trusted neighbor or close friend to fill in as an interim caregiver until your child’s predetermined caregiver can take over. Be sure to name the interim caregiver in your family care plan and include a special power of attorney for the interim caregiver.
• Maintain an emergency fund. To be sure you have immediate funds for your child should a deployment pop up quickly, create an emergency fund. Speak to a financial counselor through your installation Personal Financial Management Services office located at the Military and Family Support Center, or connect with free financial counseling through Military OneSource.

Here are support services that may help:

• Commissary and exchanges — Bring your agent letter of authorization and a family member’s identification card to shop for children in your care.
• Children and youth programs — Programs for children, teens and after-school care are available. Check out Children, Youth and Teens on Military OneSource to find a wealth of information.
• Military treatment facilities — Military treatment facilities are available for a sick or injured child. Find the closest facility through the TRICARE Military Treatment Facility Locator or contact TRICARE for an approved medical provider. You will need your power of attorney to receive services.
• Legal assistance — If you need legal assistance, contact the Armed Forces Legal Assistance Locator to find out where to go.
• Leisure and recreational activities — Check out the Morale, Welfare and Recreation program and what it has to offer for relaxation and adventure.

These are resources for children who need support and assistance:

• Sesame Street for Military Families offers games and activities for children.
• The National Military Family Association has a page for children with information and links to deployment-related publications.
• The American Academy of Pediatrics has a deployment resources page with information for parents and caregivers of military children and adolescents.

Caregiving is an important job. Visit Military OneSource or call 800-342-9647, 24/7, to:

• Receive referrals to support services and counseling.
• Get confidential counseling for issues related to your care-provider role.
• Locate free articles, booklets, CDs and videos on Military OneSource that will support you in your role.

You can do it and we’re here to help.