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Healing From a Breakup

Overview

There’s no easy way to go through a breakup — but you can recover, rebuild and stay mission ready. Whether you’re newly single or working through lingering emotions after a breakup, there are steps you can take to process what happened, care for yourself and move forward with purpose.


Start the recovery process.

No matter what phase of the breakup you’re in, use these seven steps to pick yourself up and bounce back stronger.

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Come to terms.

Reflect on what happened in the relationship and what’s within your control. Accepting reality is the first step toward healing.

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Feel your feelings.

It’s normal to experience sadness, anger or confusion. Don’t suppress your emotions. Process your emotions through things like journaling, talking with friends or a creative outlet like drawing or cooking.

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Get moving.

Exercising can help you de-stress and channel your energy. Try going for a walk, working out or spending time outside.

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Maintain mission readiness.

Stay focused on your responsibilities. Keeping up with your work, training and daily routines can help restore balance and confidence.

Try it: De-stress your body and mind with relaxation drills in the Chill Drills app.

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Leverage structure

Keep up with self-care, physical training, meals and sleep — staying on track can help you stay grounded as you adjust to your “new normal.”

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Take a break from social media

Social media can help you get a quick hit of dopamine, but doomscrolling can lower your focus and increase anxiety — especially if you keep checking in on your ex. Spend some time away from the screen to reinforce positive habits and self-care.

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Avoid making impulse decisions

After a breakup, your brain wants relief from the grief — that’s normal. Your feelings deserve care, not instant action. Instead of making a rash decision or self-medicating, take a breather and try calling a friend, taking a walk or investing in another activity.

Pro tip: You are not alone. Learn how to spot warning signs of unhealthy coping and how to heal in a healthy way.


Take care of yourself.

It’s important to pay extra attention to self-care during a breakup. Here are some tips:

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Be around loved ones.

Surround yourself with people who care. Spend time with friends, family or trusted peers who support your goals and listen without judgment.

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Revisit your values.

Reset and reflect on the things that are important to you to help you realign.

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Keep moving.

Walk, run, bike — whatever it takes to get your endorphins pumping. The combination of physical activity and fresh air will help to boost your mood.

Pro tip: Find gyms, fitness classes, parks and activities in your area with Morale, Welfare and Recreation programs.

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Get support: health and wellness coaching

Health and wellness experts are available to help you maintain mission focus. Get help with routines, fitness, nutrition and more.


Look ahead.

It may seem far off now, but things will be OK. Look to the future to build yourself back up.

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Prioritize friendships.

Take time to strengthen existing relationships before jumping into a new one. Solid friendships are the foundation for long-term resilience.

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Embrace the single life.

Enjoy the freedom and flexibility that comes with being single. Try new activities, pursue interests and discover who you are outside of a relationship.

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Learn more: resources for solo service members

Get connected to resources to help you thrive in your single life.


Talk things out.

Sometimes the best way to heal from a breakup is to talk about it — and you’ve got support to get you through this difficult chapter:

  • Military chaplains: Talk about your troubles completely confidentially and judgment-free — and get guidance for what to do next.
  • Peer-to-peer support: Talk with a trained professional who understands military life and relationship stress.
  • Military and family life counseling: Get support on your installation and talk confidentially. Meet individually or as a family to address grief, new routines and more.
  • Military OneSource counseling: Connect in-person, over the phone or video with a confidential counselor to get emotional support, coping skills and strategies to move forward.

Don’t know where to start? Log in to start a live, secure chat with a Military OneSource consultant who can help you find what will work best for you. You can also call us at 800-342-9647.

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