Managing Stress in a Healthy Way

Stress can show up in your mind, body, mood or behavior. Because it can look different for everyone, it helps to know some of the common signs:

• Low energy
• Irritability or feeling on edge
• Trouble concentrating
• Difficulty making decisions
• Changes in appetite or sleep
• Changes in sex drive
• Pulling away from people, activities or routines
• Tension, headaches or body pain
• Feeling emotionally “checked out”
• Anxiety or panic attacks
• Feeling like things are “too much”

Remember, these are not signs of failure or weakness, but your body’s way of responding to ongoing or increasing stress — and asking for more care, support or rest.

Stress isn’t always obvious in the moment — especially when you’re busy handling the day-to-day. Taking a pause to check in can help you name what you’re feeling and move forward.

This isn’t about placing judgment on yourself or having all the answers. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or a little off, it may be your body’s way of telling you stress is building.

Ask yourself:

• How does my body feel right now?
• How have I been sleeping and eating lately?
• Have I noticed changes in my mood, patience or ability to focus?
• What has been taking up most of my energy lately?
• Are there any responsibilities or tasks that feel harder than normal?
• What feels outside of my control right now?
• Is there something I’ve been avoiding or putting off?
• Have I been relying on any habits to help me feel better?
• What would help the most right now — rest, food, movement, connection or space?
• What’s one small thing I can do today to feel a little more grounded?

When stress levels are high, basic needs can start to slip. It may sound simple, but being aware and intentional about taking care of yourself can help you feel more steady during moments of high stress.

• Drink a full glass of water and eat a solid meal.
• Take a hot shower.
• Take a few minutes to focus on deep, fulfilling breaths.
• Use your senses to take notice of what you can see, hear, smell and feel around you.
• Do one small task you’ve been putting off, like making your bed, clearing a counter or taking out the trash.
• Write down what needs to get done and break it down into small, manageable steps.
• Prioritize a regular sleep schedule.
• Use positive self-talk — remind yourself: “I can handle this,” or “this moment will pass.”

When your body is used to pushing through, it can be hard to recognize when you need to slow down. A few quiet moments, a little fresh air or a change of scenery can help you reset and settle down.

• Build a recovery routine to give yourself a regular way to reset — especially after duty, training, travel or a long shift.
• Make downtime feel slower and more intentional. Create boundaries around social media, video games and TV, especially when they keep your mind running instead of helping you unwind.
• Set a hard stop for checking messages or work tasks — protect time when you are fully off.
• Pause and step outside — take a few deep breaths, take a moment to change your pace and give yourself some distance from the stress.
• Change your surroundings to help your mind slow down — move to a different room or head to a local park to get some space.
• Take a break from scrolling — unplug from your phone, the news and constant notifications so your mind can quiet down.

Physical activity can help you release tension, clear your mind and improve your mood. You don’t have to commit to a full exercise routine or intense workout to feel the benefits — start small and prioritize movement that helps you feel refreshed.

• Take a walk — it can be long, short or just enough to shift your mood.
• Stretch the tight spots — focus on your neck, shoulders, back, jaw or other common tension points.
• Stand up — set reminders throughout the day to get up and move around for five minutes.
• Build strength with simple movements — try squats, calf raises, shoulder rolls or a quick lap.
• Shake it out — put on some music, do a little dance and embrace the silliness to make stress feel less sharp.
• Keep up with training, but don’t overdo it — focus on exercises that align with your ability and energy level.
• Try an activity that requires focus — lifting, swimming, climbing or running can help you get out of your head.
• Build a regular routine — start with things you know you can stick to and add on from there.

When the going gets tough, you might have the instinct to isolate from your loved ones, but stress can be easier to manage when you surround yourself with people who care about you.

• Reach out to people separated from your stressors or someone who feels easy to talk to.
• Say what you need upfront — do you want advice or just some space to vent?
• Text a friend, even if it’s just to say hi or check in.
• Make plans that don’t come with pressure to talk, such as watching live sports, going on a run or playing a game.
• Rely on existing routines — grab a bite after work with a friend or call a loved one during a commute.
• Explore activities on base — check out fitness classes, rec leagues, volunteer opportunities, hobby groups or installation events that give you a reason to show up.

Many coping habits can be safe and healthy when used with mindfulness and moderation. Pay attention to patterns that are becoming harder to limit. Signs may include:

• Staying up too late or avoiding rest
• Losing long periods of time to scrolling online
• Dietary extremes (skipping meals or eating more or less than usual)
• Overspending or impulse buying
• Finding it hard to pause or limit video games
• Repeating unsafe or unhealthy relationship patterns
• Gambling or sports betting beyond your limits
• Watching pornography more often or for longer periods
• Engaging in excessive or compulsive sexual behavior
• Drinking more often or more than you intended
• Using drugs or misusing prescription medication

Recognizing the point when “taking the edge off” turns into something you can’t control isn’t easy — especially when you’re juggling work, family, added pressures or big changes.

Use these questions to check in with yourself — without blame, judgment or labels — and take notice of what may need some extra attention.

• Am I reaching for this more often than I used to?
• Is it taking up more time, money or energy than usual?
• Is it getting harder to pause, stop or cut back?
• Do I feel off, restless or irritated when I try to take a break?
• Do I downplay, hide or get defensive about it to others?
• Has it changed how I handle my mood, health, relationships or responsibilities?
• Would I be concerned if someone I cared about was coping this way?

Recognizing the habits that help versus the habits that hurt is an important step. For habits that feel more difficult to control, it’s not always realistic to make an immediate change. Start small and be patient with yourself as you begin building better ways to manage stress.

• Get clear on what you want to change — pick one habit, one moment or one part of your routine to focus on first.
• Notice when or why you do it — are you tired, bored, angry, overwhelmed, lonely or trying to avoid something?
• Try a healthier swap — choose something that helps you get through the moment and stay grounded.
• Make the old habit harder to reach — when possible, avoid situations, people or things that may be triggering and set limits around time, money or access.
• Use reminders and establish limits — set a timer, put a reminder on your calendar and decide ahead of time what “enough” looks like.

You don’t have to wait until something feels out of control to get support — and you don’t have to figure it out alone.

If coping habits are becoming unmanageable or affecting your work, relationships or daily life, you’ve got options for support:

• Military and Family Life Counseling provides free, confidential counseling to help you find better ways to manage stress.
• Military OneSource counselors are available for free, confidential counseling in person, by phone, and secure online chat or video sessions.
• TRICARE has a range of mental health services, including therapy, outpatient care and treatment for substance use disorders.
• If alcohol, drugs, gambling, pornography use or another behavior feels too hard to control or borders on addiction, ask your primary care manager, a behavioral health provider or your installation support services team about treatment options and recovery support.

Note: If you or someone you care about is depressed, in crisis, or in need of mental health or emotional support, call 988 and press 1, or text 838255 to reach the Veterans/Military Crisis Line. Call 911 for immediate physical safety concerns, including chest pain, or trouble breathing.