Financial Abuse

Financial abuse is domestic abuse. It can happen when a partner repeatedly withholds funds and controls household spending. If your partner is argumentative, defensive or dismisses your concerns about finances, it could be financial abuse.

Relationships can be challenging, especially with the added stressors military life may bring. It’s important to recognize the warning signs of financial abuse, which may not be as obvious as physical abuse and may gradually develop over time.

Financial abuse is a form of domestic abuse. The War Department describes it as a pattern of behavior that includes emotional or psychological abuse, economic control or interference with personal liberty that is directed toward a:

• Current or former spouse
• Person with whom the abuser shares a child
• Current or former intimate partner with whom the alleged abuser shares or has shared a common domicile
• Person who is or has been in a social relationship of a romantic or intimate nature with the alleged abuser

According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, “Financial abuse is rooted in the desire of one partner to have power and control over the other.” A partner who chooses to abuse may control their partner’s finances or their ability to provide for themselves through employment or public assistance.

Warning signs may include cases in which your partner:

• Controls the money in your bank account and monitors your spending. This could include requesting that you turn over receipts and remaining change after shopping trips.
• Gives you an allowance to pay bills or buy groceries that doesn’t cover expenses.
• Denies you access to debit or credit cards, prevents you from opening a bank account or opens accounts in your name without your permission.
• Hides household financial accounts from you and refuses to discuss how much money they earn or how it is spent.
• Makes all the decisions about how household money is spent without your input.
• Controls your money — either by forbidding you from working or requiring you to hand over your paycheck.
• Refuses to work even though they are able to and expects you to pay for everything.
• Refuses to provide money for necessities, such as hygiene products and personal care items.
• Tells you their money belongs only to them and that you don’t deserve access to it.

The Family Advocacy Program supports service members and military families impacted by domestic abuse. Program staff can help at any stage of a relationship. Victims can talk with an advocate and decide how much they want to share — and the amount of support they want. FAP will tailor tools and resources to assist.