Close
My Military
OneSource App
Install
See All MilLife Guides
HomeResourcesMilLife GuidesParenting Through Deployment
MilLife Guides

Parenting Through Deployment

Overview

Deployment preparation has an extra, important step for parents — preparing your children for before, during and after deployment. Use these tools, resources and methods to create a customized plan to support and prepare your family for deployment.

Preparing for deployment as a parent

There is no one way to prepare your child for deployment separations. Make a family-specific plan for your military deployment using parental instinct, communication and planning with the help of these resources, tools and tips:

Having a baby when deployed

Whether you are the spouse of a deployed service member who has just given birth or a service member away from the magical moment, explore these strategies to connect with each other and experience the pregnancy, delivery and joys of new parenthood together.

Prepare together before you’re separated so you and your partner can reduce stress and better experience the joys of being a new parent:

  • Make a birth plan and take classes. Talk with your partner about expectations and create a birth plan outlining your shared wishes and preferences, including details for transportation to and from the hospital. Choose a birth coach, and attend childbirth or parenting classes together before deployment to prepare for life with a newborn.
  • Line up support. Seek emotional and physical support from family, friends and family readiness groups. Contact your installation New Parent Support Program for free one-on-one support for expectant and new parents. Expectant parents and parents of children up to the age of 5 can also schedule a New MilParent specialty consultation.
  • Verify TRICARE medical coverage. Enroll your partner in the Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System, or DEERS, for qualified benefits. Confirm enrollment through:
  • Prepare your home and car. Pick out a car seat, set up the nursery and leave keepsakes like your deployed partner’s old T-shirts for your baby to touch, smell and hold. Set up a family emergency and evacuation plan in case of a natural disaster, including a car emergency kit and contact information.

Be part of your baby’s birth even if you are separated by deployment:

  • Explore video chat or other technologies. Coordinate with your partner and hospital to stay connected during labor through video chat or other communication tools.
  • Keep a journal. Document your deployment experience for you and your baby. Ask your partner to keep a journal or online blog as well.
  • Seek support. Encourage your partner to seek help when needed. Your installation has support services that can help, like the New Parent Support Program. In a state of mental health crisis, contact the Military Crisis Line 24 hours a day:
    • Call 988 and Press 1
    • Start an online chat
    • Text 838255

Try these suggestions to help make your reunion and new routine a smooth one:

  • Give your baby time to get to know you. Try not to be disappointed if your baby doesn’t bond with you right away. The excitement of your homecoming may be overwhelming to a baby.
  • Keep up your baby’s schedule and help with routine chores. Try not to disrupt the baby’s routine as much as possible. Wait to plan trips after everyone has settled in. Helping your partner with bathing and feeding will also help you and your baby get to know each other.
  • Spend time alone as a couple. Hire a sitter or take advantage of friends who offer to babysit so you two can reconnect as you adjust to your new family.

Helping children and youth deal with deployment

A deployment can cause strong emotions and stress in families, especially in children. Understanding how children and teens react during deployments and preparing ahead of time for this big change can help make each deployment phase smoother. Use these tips and resources to build a support plan:

Preparing your child for your return

While a deployed parent’s return is often an exciting time, it can be stressful and confusing for children as well. Whether this is your family’s first or fifth reunion, each one is different. Be patient with yourself, your spouse and your children. Here are some ways you can make this time easier for children:

  • Spend one-on-one time with your child. Visit a zoo, get ice cream or play a favorite sport. Start new traditions, like pizza or board game nights, or plan a trip for the entire family with Morale, Welfare and Recreation joint services campgrounds.
  • Maintain routines. Maintaining normal routines, even those that may have changed during your deployment, gives children a sense of stability during times of transition.
  • Strengthen bonds with your children. They will have grown while you were away and might have new interests and changes in their personalities. Listen to their thoughts and feelings, address their concerns and share age-appropriate details about your deployment.
Image of Parents Child

Explore reunion and reintegration support.

Read more about returning home from deployment to learn how to plan for a successful reunion, what to expect, how to help the family transition, how to support children and more.

Image of Confidential Counseling

Reach out for support.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help if you see unusual behaviors, changes in sleeping and eating habits, or a decline in your child’s academic performance. Access free, confidential in-person counseling from the Military and Family Life Counseling Program. Child and youth behavioral military life counselors are licensed and can support children on or near installations.

Resources and Military OneSource services

MILITARY ONESOURCE SERVICES
Military OneSource Counseling
Military and Family Life Counseling
Related Resources
Supporting Youth and Teens During Deployment
Managing Deployment Stress and How to Prepare
What Does a School Liaison Really Do for Military Families?
Sesame Street for Military Families
Strengthen Family Bonds
Related Articles
Face Challenges Effectively With Confidential Counseling for Youth
How to Create and Maintain Routines
Parenting and Teen Stress

Related MilLife Guides

Managing Deployments and Separations Deployments and separations can be tough on relationships. Find resources you can tap to minimize strain and grow together.
During Deployment Each deployment may require different skills and strategies. Find resources to help manage stress, finances and more.
Support for Parents & Guardians From welcoming your first child to parenting through deployment, you’ll find parenting resources to help your family thrive.

Learn about military bases worldwide. Get installation overviews, check-in procedures, housing, neighborhood information, contacts for programs and services, photos and more.

Search Installation Contacts

Find an Installation

View All Installations

Site Map
Accessibility
Privacy Policy
Legal & Administrative
Department of Defense
USA.gov
FOIA
Plain Writing Act
No Fear Act
Release 5.25.11.a